When the Holidays Hurt: How the Season of Joy Can Increase Substance Use - Especially for Teens
The holidays are often described as “the most wonderful time of the year.” But for many families, they can also be one of the hardest.
Behind the twinkling lights and perfect photos, stress, grief, and emotional exhaustion can run deep.
While adults might cope with that tension through alcohol or prescription drugs, it’s our teens who often feel the emotional pressure most intensely — and too often, they turn to substances to manage it.
The Hidden Pressures of the Holidays
For adults, the holidays bring their share of stress: financial strain, family conflict, grief over lost loved ones, or the weight of making everything “perfect.”
But for teens, that same stress takes on a sharper edge.
Teens quietly face:
Family tension, they don’t know how to fix
The heaviness of watching parents or caregivers struggle
The loneliness of feeling misunderstood
Disrupted structure and routine
Social pressure to appear happy or to “have fun”
“When young people feel disconnected, stressed, or invisible, substances can look like an easy way to feel something else — even just for a little while.”
Many teens experience the holidays as a time when everyone else seems joyful, which makes their own sadness or anxiety feel even more isolating.
Why Teens Feel It More Intensely
The teenage brain is wired for extremes — bigger feelings, faster impulses, and stronger reactions. Add in stress, grief, or chaos at home, and those emotions can become overwhelming.
When a parent or loved one is visibly struggling — through grief, depression, or even substance use — teens often absorb that pain rather than express it. They may feel like they have to stay strong, or like their own emotions don’t matter.
That’s when substances become tempting: a temporary escape, a numbing agent, a way to control something in a world that suddenly feels out of control.
“Teens don’t use because they want to destroy themselves. They use because, for a moment, it feels like relief.”
How Adults Can Make a Difference
The most powerful antidote to teen substance use isn’t fear, it’s connection.
When adults lead with honesty, empathy, and vulnerability, they create a safe space for teens to do the same.
That doesn’t mean oversharing adult problems, but it does mean showing that it’s okay to struggle.
Say things like:
“The holidays are hard for me sometimes too.”
“I’ve had times when I didn’t feel okay, and it helped to talk about it.”
“You don’t have to be fine all the time. None of us do.”
When teens see that it’s safe to talk about pain, and that adults can feel it without numbing it, they learn that emotions aren’t something to escape. There’s something to navigate.
5 Ways to Support Teens Through Holiday Stress
Talk Openly and Often Ask questions that go beyond “How are you?” Try, “What’s been feeling heavy for you lately?” Then listen — really listen — without rushing to fix it.
Model Healthy Coping If you’re overwhelmed, show your teen what healthy self-care looks like: taking a walk, journaling, setting boundaries, or calling a friend.
Keep Structure Without Pressure During holiday breaks, maintain a balance of freedom and predictability. Routines help reduce anxiety and keep teens grounded.
Name the Hard Things Don’t pretend everything’s fine if it’s not. Acknowledging grief, stress, or conflict helps teens learn that emotions are normal — not shameful.
Create Sober Traditions Game nights, baking marathons, volunteering — rituals that don’t center around alcohol or partying can still be full of joy and connection.
Key Takeaways
The holidays can magnify emotions — especially for teens who feel disconnected, anxious, or overwhelmed. Open, honest conversations about stress and struggle help teens feel safe and seen. Adults who lead with love and vulnerability teach teens that it’s okay to not be OK — and that substances aren’t the solution. Connection is prevention. The more supported teens feel, the less likely they are to seek escape through risky behaviors.
A Final Thought
The holidays aren’t always easy — and that’s okay.
Behind the decorations and the gatherings, we’re all just doing our best to hold it together, often while carrying invisible burdens.
For teens, who are still learning how to manage big feelings, your honesty and presence can make all the difference.
“When teens know they aren’t alone in their struggle, they don’t have to seek comfort in the things that can destroy them.”
This season let’s trade perfection for presence.
Let’s lead with love, listen with empathy, and remind our kids and ourselves that being human, even in the hard moments, is enough.
For more information, help, and resources, please visit www.steeredstraight.org or call (856) 691-6676
Our mission is to steer youth straight toward making sound, rational decisions through a learning experience that provides a message of reality to help them make positive, informed choices.
